Up Yours, Miss. Ross

It was another of those scarily odd days.

I had my French oral today. It was kind of... uh, interesting. I am not good at French, ok? So here is a snippet of the hell that was my examen. Translated into beautiful English. Ahh, English.

Mme. French Lady: Where do you prefer to stay when you are on holiday?

Me: I prefere to stay in a hotel, because it is comfortable. I don't like youth hostels because... because... because... um... I don't like youth hostels because (nervous laugh) uh... they are not comfortable.

Mme. French Lady: Uh, ok. Where did you go last Christmas holidays?

Me: I'm sorry, what?

Mme. French Lady: Last CHRISTMAS, where DID you GO?

Me: Ohhhhhh. Riiiiiight. Christmas. Um... I went to Egypt with my family, to see other family in Egypt. We went on a plane. We met with other family and we visit museums. I mean, we visited museums. Then we... we... uh... yeh. It is good. Uh, it was good.

Mme. French Lady: How do you like to travel?

Me: On a plane. I like to travel on a plane. Because it is fast, and comfortable, and I don't like planes. I mean cars.

Mme. French Lady: What will you do after this?

Me: I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Mme. French Lady: After this, what lessons will you have. Lessons. After.

Me: Oh. English, and an hour of Maths, and some French. I think. I don't know.

Mme. French Lady: Ok, thank you. You are finished.

Me: I don't understand, can you repeat the question?

Yeh, you get the incredibly awful and ugly picture. I am so embarrassingly bad at French. But hey, look at this. I never HAVE to speak that stupid language (sorry, all you beautiful Frenchies out there) EVER AGAIN. It will not be forced on me. I no longer have to pretend I understand that accent. I am so close to freedom.

On an even lighter note (who would have thought that any note could be lighter than a lack of French?) we had a citizenship lesson today. God, I love citizenship. There is so much scope for hilarity. For instance, the stupidity of the questions we had today:

Q) What constituency are you in?

Abi's answer) Africa.

To which Miss. Simper says, "Now, Abi, you do know you don't live in Africa?".

Jesus.

Of course, only about a third of us actually bothered turning up for citizenship. Most of them crowded in the toilets, having escaped from the Drugs Talk. I don't think that guy was a very good influence on us, with his whole "I got the best high off that drug" and "Yeh, I was mongingly stoned". Mucho amusing for us, but perhaps not for Miss. Ross, to whom he gave the one fingered salute.

Mr. Drug-Man, you are my god.