And, Like, Wow, And I Was Like, Woah

Hey, lucky me.

I got protection.

That's right, folks.

I have a new pack of condoms. A gift, from my ever-loving father. It's a twelve pack - "That should last you about a week," he joked. At least, I hope he was joking. You can never tell with my father. So, at least now I can have as much sex as I want, and it will be SAFE. Which makes a change. Cough.

Please note, however, that these are the cheapo Boots version of condoms. Not exactly the Rolls Royce of contraception, eh? But no matter. I shall just have to be happy that I do not have to pay for my own "family planning". I do find it amusing though, that it is me of all people who get given condoms. I am probably as sexually active as a lemon. Yeh, alright, not a great analogy, but it will do.

Shh.