I'll Be Cheering For You Tonight. I Promise.

The more I think about university, the more I look forward to it.

I talk to a couple of old friends, occasionally, ones who are at uni, and my God do I envy them.

Of course it is daunting, especially as this will be the first time that I am away from Kris, really, in about ten, elevenish years. It's been a long time. Do I think I'll cope? Yes. I'm pretty certain that I will. But it will be weird. But the question is this: will she cope without ME? Of course not. None of you will. I fully expect you all to turn up on my doorstep, teary eyed and limp with out me there to be teary eyed and limp for you.

Oddly enough, one thing I really am looking forward to is being thrust out there almost completely alone, and being physically forced to make new friends. Making sure I'm not dependent on people. Finding new people to dump on. And of course, who will inevitably dump on me. And so that is exciting. And good. And lots more bland adjectives.

I have been in an odd mood since my whole ill thing on Thursday. Mood swings galore. Up and down. Swing swing from the tangles of. Etc. You know what I mean.

The talk about loans today was the thing that has hit home with me. I am going to be in DEBT. A hell of a lot of debt. So much debt that I will barely be able to BREATHE.


I don't know what to say any more.