Long Time No Speak

I have, at last, returned from Spain.

Actually, I've been back for ages. But never mind.

On with the bloggings.

In Spain, time was mostly spent doing the following:

• Being eaten alive by mosquitos.
• Sunbathing.
• Eating.
• Drinking much.
• Riding camels.
• Being stung by a jellyfish.
• Being beaten up by Alex.
• Annoying Emma.
• Swimming in the freezing cold sea.
• Having rampant sex with the multitudes of Spaniards, who, to be quite honest, had the MAJOR hots for me. Because I am so darn fit.
• Not sleeping.
• Boating to Morocco.
• Reading boring books about the war.
• Waiting for the GCSE results.

And that was about it.










So Spain was good. But thank ARSE I'm home.

While I was out in Spain, of course, the most interesting things happened here in Englandio. I always miss the scandal. But never mind.

The 1st of September was Tom's birthday. HARPY BINDAY, TOEMOUSE. In fact, I remember blogging about it last year. Isn't that amazing? A yearworths of blogs. Well done me. It was also a year anniversary since I met Gill and Oli. Funness. So to celebrate Thomas becoming 17 (and soon to be my taxi, I hope), we all descended on his house, for much capering and barbequeing. We sat in the car, we played ping pong, we attempted to barbeque sheep, we burnt sausages, we did many a fun thing.















It started to get dark, so, we all piled into the front room to watch such delights as Evil Dead, Mean Girls, Dodgeball, Face Off and Scarface. Excellent, excellent. Unfortunately, by this time, Gill had got exceedingly off his face, and was in fact attempting to rape Emma. As he lay on top of her, Marios, Mike and Paul endeavoured to drag him off her, but to no avail. For Oli's legs began to flail, and kick out, and alas and alack! He struck Mike's face, and sent the latter's glasses hurtling across the room. I'm sorry for finding it so amusing. Sorry sorry. Face Off seemed like an excellent film except for the fact it was punctuated by the loudest, sloppiest, wettest most DISGUSTING sounding kisses in the world. No exaggeration, these sounded like two whelks being slowly prised apart. And then stuck back together. And then prised apart. RIGHT IN MY EAR. Thomas, you are such a hypocrite. May you burn in hell.

Anyway, a grooving time was had by all. GOOD PARTAY, THOMAS.

Last night was Stalker's party. Which was ALSO fab. We proceeded to get drunk very quickly, due to the lack of food during the day, as well as the lack of sleep. But alas, I got hit in the face by a bottle, and lost some of one of my front teeth. Bugger.

Other than that, the party was extra groovy, what with all the random people who I'd never met before, and probably will never meet again. And there was a guy with cool shoes. But the best bit was the sleepover, what with the amusingnesses of Alex, Sam, Phil, John and Mike. And Emma, I suppose. And Fran. But she was passed out as soon as she sat down. So, she didn't really count. I spent most of the night curled up on the little sofa, occasionally being visited by Sam and Phil, the latter spouting numerous jokes and odd noises. I am supposed to blog about something particular at this juncture, but alas, I cannot remember what it was. Sorry, Philippa.

At last, we went home, only to leave the house again less than an hour later, to partake in a partay de la swimming chez Rach. Which was also fabby. And now, I have to say, I am fucking knackered.

School starts in 4 days. Shudder.