314

It's the 11th of July already.

So much of my summer holiday has already passed. Oh God.

And what am I doing to try to make the most of my oh-so-short time of freedom? I'm sewing. SEWING, I TELL YOU. I am practising my chainstitch. I wish I was joking. I spent all morning in the office, answering the bloody phone (and if I have to say "Good morning, Bryan Carter & Co., can I help you?" one more time, I think my large intestine will leap out of my throat, wrap around my neck seven times, and strangle me, not only until I'm sick, but until I am so dead that I'm deader than dead, and into the realms of zombie. Or something) and trying to work the bloody fax machine. I swear that fax machine has it in for me. Maybe I push its buttons too hard (oooh err). Or perhaps it doesn't like the way I feed paper into it. Or maybe it has a secret crush on me, and tries to piss me off to get me off the scent of its luuurve. Of course, it could be that I'm useless with anything technological, and that is why it was rebelling against me. Nah.

I also had a bit of a fight with the photocopier, but it behaved itself for the rest of the day, and so I decided that I would adopt it as a pet. Which I named "Rover mark two". But, unlike its predecessor, the fly (named Rover), it cannot, uh, fly away. And I won't have to feed it anything but paper. And its excrement is even more useful than the fodder fed into it, considering it is a photocopier and all. It also makes nice beepy noises.

But, alas, there is a small fly (or should I say photocopier?) in the ointment, for poor little Rover mark two has a little problem with narcolepsy. Yes, that is correct. We have a narcoleptic photocopier. It is a sad fact, and one that we cannot find a solution to. It is heartbreaking to watch our little Rover mark two fall into a deep, fitful sleep at any suggestion of work.

Or could it be perhaps that we have a lazy photocopier?

Tonight, I shall be watching mes amies act like fools on stage. Well, they will be fools on stage, so I guess not much acting is involved. Photos shall follow.