Fly Episode Two: The Return Of The Buzz

Rover returned.

During my Latin exam.

The exam was going reasonably well, considering we hadn't been taught half the stuff we were supposed to know. I thought to myself, "Great, I'm a-doing okay, I'm not being distracted. I'm okay." But the only fly in the ointment, if you will, was the fact that every time I turned my head, I would hear a buzz and a dull thud. I looked to my right to see a motherfucker of a fly, perched on the edge of my paper, glaring at me with its sixty billion eyes. Now, I'm not even exaggerating*, this fly was a HUGE fucker. I have never seen a fly so large in my ENTIRE life. Ever. You don't believe me? Well, here is a true to life drawing, complete with measurements, all in their entire correctness. Really.



So, admittedly, I don't quite get Photoshop. Yet. I'll find the fill tool. I will. Don't look at me like that. No, I've worked it out. My drawings will become better when you supply me with a graphics tablet.

But anyway. Back to my story. I swotted the fly, trying to stop it from making my mind wander (not like making my mind wander is much of a challenge anyway. I am apparently the Tangent Queen. I only wish I was so good at tangents when it came to circle theorems and such stuff and nonsense. But anyway). The fly stayed there, its wings closed on its back, an evil stare tossed in my direction. I knew there was only one way to win this battle. A staring contest.

I strengthened my mind and rubbed my eyes (hahaha, another Latin joke. Shh.). I shuffled down in my chair, and, in what seemed like slow motion, slid my focus on to the offending fly. But, alas, and probably alack. The fly had, once again, disappeared. I straightened my papers, and went back to work.

I await your return, oh Fly-y. And I shall be ready for you this time.




*This may not be 100% of fact. Hyperbole MAY have been used in this statement. Possibly.