An Extremely Bad Poem Written About Four Million Years Ago

Presentation on Teaching
By Cassie and Katy


Emma is a boff
She
Is too clever for her own boots
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Katy is a fluffball
She
Has very fluffy hair and socks
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Kris is a frog brained twerp
She
Often freaks everyone out with her twerpiness
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Lois is a pink hairband
She
Ties up peoples hair and plucks their eyebrows
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Cassie is a warped time machine
She
Wants to be a clown in her old life
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Steve is a dried up teabag
She
Is very frail and falls over
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Amber is a telegraph sender
She
Writes for the Daily Mail and the Star
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Abi is a scabby knee
She
Collects beetles in her pockets in Autumn
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Beth is a pair of eyelash curlers
She
Wiggles her arms in glee at the sight of highlights
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Fran is an Irish Jig
She
Drives a car with a fan in it
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Leyla is a leaf from a laurel bush
She
Waves in the wind and trips over the clouds
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Laura is a bottle of bubble bath
She
Foams when close to the tap
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Gee is a flaming uncle
She
Often goes out to the shops in her slippers
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Anni is a slimy egg
She
Leaves her knickers to drain on the sky
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Fatemah is a limpid outrage
She
Climbs the walls of international buildings at night
And she knows it
We don’t need to teach her that, that’s for sure

Justin is a German spy
He
Traipses around the dark corners of the sleeping lions
And he knows it
We don’t need to teach him that, that’s for sure

Thomas is a cat burglar
He
Leaps into windows to create an atmosphere of terror
And he knows it
We don’t need to teach him that, that’s for sure

James is a comma stopping syllable
He
Trips on the edge of the bus stops in London
And he knows it
We don’t need to teach him that, that’s for sure

Paul is a Belgian terrorist
He
Creeps up behind unavailable chickens in the safety cars
And he knows it
We don’t need to teach him that, that’s for sure

Will is a tie-dying gypsy
He
Slides into the background so that his colours wont show
And he knows it
We don’t need to teach him that, that’s for sure

We are typewriters on a fishing line
We
Learn to keep each other from dangerous things like piranhas
And we know it
We don’t need to be taught that, THAT’S FOR SURE!