Koalas and Rampant Batty Sex

Abi is laughing. Last night was Bob's Christmas party at her dad's flat which is in Ascot near the high street and we got there by train with 8 other people which all have different names and heights and shoe sizes and bra sizes and you get the picture and i'm trying to make this sentence as long as possible to annoy Cassie, oh this isn't Cassie by the way, it's krizza and abi, and we're writing in her blog cos she let us which is very kind of her and Abi just stretched.
ok this is abi now..
I just kneeled on Cassie's christmas advent calender complete with chocolate and lots of fun. So, the party last night was rockin'. Literally rockin', we rocked all night long, and then tom and cassie had rampant batty sex, although thats not possible because cassie is a girl (we think). SORRY. Cassie's koala bear is looking at me from beside the computer screen, damn him and his bamboo-eating. Everyone look at kris because she is changing behind me. Back to the party, we all stood in a big room, boys on one side and girls on the other because interaction is not allowed, and we all drank water and juice. Kris' pyjama top says "First Group" on it, and above that is three bears with bowties and their heads stuck together. Cassie just suggested revision, and i just noticed a model camel on top of the computer screen, next to a white reindeer with red antlers. Camels are funny creatures aren't they? All humpy and spitty. Baby when your gone, I realise i'm in love, (that was directed at YOU mr ware, please return to my classroom). So the boys in blue turned up at bob's, fun for all the family. Perhaps they were strippers, maybe Benedict hired them. Did everyone else realise how much he looked like Tara?, or was that just me? He introduced himself to me 5 times. So im enjoying this, seeing as I have never blogged before. Oh my days, zippy is eyeing me up from the wall. Cassie thinks that zippy is a hamburger. What a canniball. Kris and Cassie are reminising over "Phil", cassie's brother's absent boyfriend. I hope he is imaginary, that would be exciting. "Carry on going" is what I am being urged to do by the possum, so you know what? I think i will. Aren't chocolate coins funny? I mean, who would want to eat our currency? It just doesn't make sense. If everybody ate their money, we wouldn't be able to buy anything would we. I have just been offered "funky gum" by the holder of the reindeer keyring, currently wearing an alice band. This gum seriously tastes like fruit mixed with mint, and that is just plain wrong. We blame it on Belgium, seeing as that is where it is from. My jumper has a picture of the Taz-Manian Devil sitting on the Moon. Who in their right mind would come up with an idea like that? A small brown cartoon character sitting on the spherical object that orbits our Earth. So this funky gum is really giving me a buzz, I wonder how long it will last. So last night there was a shortage of tasty 'bevvies', so I had to resort to eating sweeties instead. Lots of bottles were smashed on the floor, those activities really pleased a lot of people. The fight was a memory, I find it so funny looking at people trying to calm others down, their just so serious and odd sounding. How queer. Not queer in the gay sense, because I don't imagine there were many gays there at the party, apart from Benedict who seemed to have an obsession for James, he kept on poking him in special places (his tummy) and sending him love messages across the classroom. I mean kitchen. So kris wants to establish that "rob was fit", the guy with the paisley tie who had the sparkly spanking stick. She liked him because he helped her find her ears, which sounds funny because if you werent at the party, you wouldnt know that these "ears" i talk about are actually of the feline nature, not the ears that she uses for listening to conversations and nursery rhymes. So, it seems as though "Do you take it up the bum?" is the quote for the day. I just found an orange post-it note, that reads "Most tissue fluid goes into the lymph vessel and becomes the lymph", note that down, philosophers. Kris is now bobbing, literally, she is surprised I noticed. The song "baby when your gone" is obviously revelant to her, we all know how much she misses those get-togethers with Scotty-boy. She wants everyone to know that I actually mean joe, the one currently hanging out with kangaroos and REAL LIVE koalas. I really doubt that anyone is still reading this, as i am obviously now talking completely out of my bottom and there is nothing of interest here whatsoever. Carry on reading if YOU DARE, but this might scar you mentally forever. I really love the word "spacktoid", Im excited because i'm gonna get to wear cassie's clothes. The funniest moment of the day was when i lifted up my foot from the floor, oblivious to the fact that Kris' bra was dangling off my toes. How kinky. My head is radiating so much heat, according to the foreign kid who sits at the back of the classroom and has apple cores thrown at her. Right, although we all hoped that this entry would last forever, but alas that is not possible. The threats a few sentences up seem slightly irrelevant now, seeing as i am about the begin the process of raiding cassie's wardrobe and underwear draw ;) I am being forced to a Christingle Service in an hours time, isn't that something to do with orangles, candles and cocktail sticks? Perhaps not. So according to outside sources I have been writing this for over an hour. Impressed? I'm not. I fancy myself a bit of a spacker if you catch my drift. Anyways, condoms are beckoning me from the mirror ledge. Until next time, my adopted babies. In case you wanted to know, kris finds her bra rather "unsupportive". Sorry. sorry. sorry...